The Marauder's pass notes
by QuillDream19725
Summary: The Infamous Marauders are bored. So they pass notes. Very random. Set before they find out about the "furry little problem". I think it's funny. Give this overused idea a chance. Please R and R! Rated T for language. Please review!
1. Transfiguration

This one consists of Sirius and James before they find out about his "furry little problem". Sorry if I disappoint. This is my first fan fiction so it's probably really bad. This is set in their third year. Anyway enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own. But a girl can dream.

S: James?

J: What now?!

S: Where did Remmy go last night?

J: You have the memory of a goldfish.

S: But where did he go?

J: Well, if you use your brain cells for once, you'll remember that he told us his mother's ill and he gets to visit her once a month.

S: Really? Are you sure?

J: Ugh YES!

S: Oh. Well I think Remmy's caught his mother's illness. Wish my mother would fall ill and die.

J: What do you mean?

S: Well, she's a horrible old bitch who hypnotises people to follow her shitty beliefs…

J: Not your bloody mother! Remus!

S: What about him?

J: You really do have the memory of a goldfish. You said something about Remus catching an illness.

S: Oh yes, I was wasn't I!

J: Get on with it!

S: When I saw Remus earlier he looked so tired, he looked like a Panda. And he had a good couple of cuts across his face and arms.

J: Wait, do you think there's something our homework obsessed little friend isn't telling us?

S: Yep! But that won't be difficult.

J: And why not?

S: Cos I'm a clever sexy beast.

J: Ha ha! Only one out of three correct there mate.

S: WHATTTT?!

J: Clever? Nope! You're as dumb as they come.

S: Ha, that rhymed!

J: Not proving my point at all…

S: SEE!

J: That might have just been sarcasm. Can I continue on my rant please?

S: Fine.

J: Thank you. Sexy? Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.

S: Hmpf. You're just jealous of my beautiful, shiny, wonderful hair.

J: Right. I will admit you're a beast though. You are a wild, out of control animal, that won't obey anyone except maybe Remus.

S: Yeah, you wouldn't think that boy has a temper like that.

J: What happened last time you annoyed him?

S: No. it still gives me nightmares.

J: Um, it was yesterday!

S: Moving on.

J: Well, other than that you don't listen to anyone.

S: Nope! Especially not Minnie!

J: Ah, dear old Minnie! Where is Remus anyway?

S: Hospital wing.

J: Why? We haven't experimented on him recently.

S: Apparently he "tripped"

J: I guess you don't believe that?

S: GASP! How did you know?

J: Well, the quotation's marks certainly hinted.

S: I wonder what is wrong him.

J: Dunno.

S: Oh no Minnie alert! MINNIE ALERT!

Please review! I welcome criticism. I will definitely be continuing.


	2. five minutes later

Hey! Well I got bored so here's a new chapter. Hope you like it. This again is only James and Sirius but Remus might be coming in soon.

Disclaimer: As usual I don't own.

5 MINUTES LATER

J: Really Sirius?! Really?

S: What?

J: Merlin's beard! That was the worst excuse I've ever heard. Even worse than "The suit of armour told me to do it."

S: How flattering.

J: Really? Our pet Cornish pixies sneaked to the kitchens, devoured all the sugar they could find, then sneaked the notes into our bag!

S: So? What's wrong with that? Um… why are you banging your head against the desk repetitively?

J: Cos I'm taking after Remus. You always reduce him to doing that.

S: Yeah, I have that effect on people. So anyway are you gonna answer my question?

J: What was the question?

S: What was wrong with my excuse?

J: You're kidding me right? 1. WE DON'T BLOODY HAVE PET CORNISH PIXIES! 2. Cornish pixies can't write!

S: Alright, calm your broomsticks! For number one we can borrow two of Lockhart.

J: Who the bloody hell is Lockhart?

S: Gilderoy Lockhart. That thick idiot in Ravenclaw.

J: Wow. What a stupid name. But even if we got hold of a pair of Pixies… Wait, how do you know he has Cornish Pixies?

S: He told me he had a cage full last week.

J: Wow. He is thick.

S: Yeah, owning Pixies is stupid.

J: No, telling the strangest boy in the school, Sirius Black you own Cornish Pixies is stupid.

S: Oi!

J: So how do you plan to give Pixies awesome writing skills?

S: Ooo, that'll be cool! They can do our homework! :)

J: Remus won't be happy.

S: Well, we get in the bath with the pixies…

J: WHAT!

S: Then we'll drop one of those muggle toaster things in to the bath.

J: So now you're trying to kill us. You may be suicidal but I'm not.

S: Idiot! We'd swap brains! :)

J: …Right, you have been watching too many crap muggle movies and taken too many bludgers to the head. Get this in your head. That was imaginary not real! IT WON'T WORK!

S: Gasp! James you have gone crazy. Of course it would work!

J: Ugh, I'm just gonna leave you to your ridiculous fantasies.

S: So… What are you gonna do instead?

J: Pay attention to Minnie for once.

S: Noooooooooooooo! James I must save you!

J: Go drive someone else insane.

S: But Remus isn't here.

J: There are more people than just Remus! Go bother someone else.

S: I can't be arsed.

J: Typical. Well, go do something else instead.

S: What?

J: For Merlin's sake. Entertain yourself.

S: But I'm boooooooooooored!

J: Go to sleep or something.

S: Noooooooooo! Please anything but sleep. Do not force me! Please don't… no… please * starts crying*

J: Sirius, um why are you crying?

S: I'm not able to go to sleep. I can't … please

J: And why can't you go to sleep?

S: Can't sleep… Fairies will eat me!

J: Um… James Potter cannot reply as he is rolling on the floor hysterically.

S: Sirius Black demands to know why James Potter is laughing hysterically.

J: Fairies will eat you if you fall sleep? Who the bloody hell told you that? I want to send them flowers.

S: Why is it funny?

J: Who told you that?

S: Our strangely absent Remus Lupin. Um why have you been thrown into hysterics again?

J: Okay…Do you do anything in your sleep? Oh don't make it dirty, you know what I meant.

S: Umm… Well, according to Remus I snore and mutter in my sleep.

J: Oh, what do you say in your sleep?

S: Remus said both the actions and words were not something he wanted to see. He also said it sparked very mental images in his mind.

J: Ha laughing so hard I can't breathe. And I'm sorry to break it to you Sirius, but fairies will not eat you in your sleep. I think dear sweet innocent Remus made that up to stop you from snoring. I'm not surprised he did, to be honest you believe anything.

S: Are you sure?

J: Oh, I'm quite sure!

S: I'm so gonna kill him!

J: Ha ha!

S: What?

J: Remus could beat you in a fight easily without breaking a sweat.

S: Really?

J: Yep! The day you beat Lupin is the day… is the day Pete gets married and has seven kids.

S: The day anyone beats Remmy will be the day Evans marries you! Ha!

J: You take that back NOW!

S: Nah! Oh oh he looks angry. Very angry. I'm signing off before the fight starts. OW! SOMEONE HELP ME! AAHHHHHHHHHH! *screams traumatised*

Please review! Would mean a lot.


	3. DETENTION and a bit of Queen

Hey peoples! So guess what? I'm bored so I thought I'd do this. As its Friday there should be some good TV but nope. So anyway this time James and Sirius passing notes in detention. Yeah anyway I'm bored and I want coco pops and a motorbike but hey no one wants to give me one. Please excuse my babble. I should also stop using the word anyway, but… MOUSEEZ! (Yes, you read it right. Mouseez!)

Disclaimer: Why do I even need to write these? You all know I don't own it! Anyway enjoy!

DETENTION

J: Thanks for the detention Sirius.

S: Aw, you're welcome my dearest friend. Hang on that was sarcasm wasn't it?

J: No shit Sherlock.

S: Who the fuck is Sherlock? Oooh it rhymed!

J: I'm not entirely sure. Evans said that to me when I stated the obvious when I asked her out earlier. Though it sounded cool.

S: Let me guess. She couldn't have possibly said no could she?

J: No need to rub it in.

S: Hey, hey James! You know someone let off that dungbomb with green smoke? I tried punching them for trying to out prank the Marauders, but it was like punching a brick wall. Must be so badass.

J: Um Siri… Point one: You thought you hit someone, but you actually hit a brick wall.

S: oh, no wonder it hurt.

J: *rolls eyes* and I was the one who set off the dungbomb.

S: What?! Without me! James, you traitor! Where did you get it anyway, you ran out last week!

J: Um, well, I certainly didn't nick a couple of yours.

S: So you prank without me, while using MY dungbombs. I can NEVER forgive you!

J: What about if I share my stash of sweets from Honeydukes with you?

S: Consider it done!

J: Oh shit.

S: Hey, Jimmy jams James, What's your faveuorite type of sweets?

J: Ugh, you spelt favourite wrong and I like Fizzing whizzbees.

S: Ugh, stop being Remus and my favourite's Bertie Botts every flavour beans. Why does Bertie sell his beans anyway? If it were me I'd eat them all myself.

J: Aren't you generous? Merlin help everyone if you made and sold every flavour beans anyway.

S: The other day I tricked Peter into eating a vomit flavour bean. So FUNNY! He actually threw up!

J: Joys. You really need to get a life. I suppose he is very easy to trick into that sort of thing.

S: Ahhhh.

J: Ah, very relaxing. Not.

S: I know a song that gets on your nerves, gets on your nerves, gets on your nerves!

J: Ok, what the hell are you doing now?

S: I know a song that gets on your nerves, and THIS IS HOW IT GOES!

J: Aargghhhhhhhhh! HELP! My insane friend is driving me insane!

S: Oh, la la la la la la! La la la la la la!

J: James Potter is on the verge of a mental breakdown.

S: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! James don't leave me! Tell me who did this to you? Never fear I will avenge you!

J: Merlin's beard you are actually thicker than I thought you were.

S: What? What did I do?

J: Absolutely nothing.

S: YAYYYYYYYYYYY! So can we be best friends again? Can we? Can we?

J: Sigh fine.

S: I'm floating around in ecstasy. So don't stop me now!

J: Wait, have we spent detention doing what we got detention for?

S: Yep. So don't stop me cos I'm having a good time, having a good time! I'm a rocket ship on my way to mars on a collision course! I am a satellite! I'm out of control! I'm a sex machine ready to reload… Oh detention's over! YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY! Come on James, let's go! Bye Minnie! WOOOOOO HOOOOOO!

J: um…

*James follows Sirius who has run out screaming the song "Don't stop me now!" which he had got stuck in his head since three hours ago and not stopped. James rolls his eyes and shakes his head, resigning himself for a long night.*

Please review! I'm sorry it's short and probably really bad, but hey I'm tired. I had Science today and I really don't hate science AT ALL. Anyway please review. Yes I'm looking at you Lulubean! I should probably add that I don't own any of the songs mentioned. Don't stop me now belongs to Queen, and the Annoying song I actually don't know where it came from. And this author's note is probably lasting a century, but I don't care! I really need to get a life. Anyway, where's the hot chocolate… I'm having such a good time, I'm having a ball! Don't stop me now…


	4. A english lesson, blackmail and mouseez?

Hey again! I decided to write the next chapter because I got a review so I'm back again! Hopefully you like nonsense because this fanfic is full to the brim with it! Oh and this time Remus has come into my story. It might not seem like it but he's my favourite marauder. On that thought, I've set up a poll on my profile on who's your favourite marauder so go and vote so I can see who you want to see more of! You know the drill. Read and review! Reviews make me smile! Also go check out both of my friends A30LUCY1 and J20billie1. Both very good authors. So on with the show!

Disclaimer: No I don't own it. It's not like any of you think I do. Disclaimers literally have no purpose.

MUGGLE STUDIES

S: Bored, bored, la la la, bored, bored, BORED!

R: Ok Sirius, we get it you're bored.

S: Wrong! I'm bored, bored, bored, bored, bored!

J: Sirius…

S: What, what, what?

R: SHUT IT!

S: Oooo, Remmy, what's got your wand in a knot?

R: You.

J: He has a point.

S: Whatever. Hey, we've got astronomy tonight, right?

R: Yeah, why?

S: I want it to be a full moon!

J: Why?

S: So then everyone can look at the full moon, and I can gasp dramatically and yell "oh no! It's a full moon! Watch out for werewolves!" and scream.

J: What the bloody hell?

R: Who have you been talking to? What werewolves are you talking about?

S: Ohhh, Jamie, I think ickle Remmy here is afraid of werewolves!

R: One: DO NOT CALL ME REMMY. Two: It's not full moon tonight and three: I'm not scared of werewolves!

J: Calm down Remus. Ok, what are we doing in class?

R: Muggle toys.

S: Ooooooooo! I like toys! :)

R: Oh damn! What have I done? James what did you give him?

J: Um… I think at the start of the lesson I gave himm a sugar quill. Oh shit!

R: JAMES! What have you done? You know what he's like when he gets hold of sugar.

J: Oh well. Hey we're doing the practical now!

S: oh, oh what's the practical?

R: Playing with muggle toys. Oh no…

S: What's wrong?

R: Oh, nothing. Cough you cough.

S: Oooo, what's this?

R: James, get him away from the thing!

J: I will probably regret asking this, but what is it?

R: Oh, nothing just something called A NERF GUN!

J: What's it do?

S: Oh, oh James I just shot Snivellus in the head with the wiz-ama-bang! Ha!

R: Oh no! James DUCK!

J: Ow! Now I know what you were talking about Remus. That bloody hurt.

R: Ok, James we must save the school. You grab Sirius I'll get the gun.

J: Deal.

S: I hate you guys.

J: Why? It's not still because of the dungbomb prank is it, because I did give you those sweets.

S: You took away my one chance of happiness, we would have been so happy together… *sob*

R: Ok, Sirius calm down.

S: Why! I ask you why? Why have you done this to me?

R: Just leave him he'll calm down.

J: Um, not sure how to break this to you, Remus, but he's had sugar! He will never calm down!

R: I was wishing!

J: Keep wishing, he'll never change.

R: Oh no, James stop him!

J: Ok Sirius, hand over the butterbeer. You're high enough as it is.

S: No! I need to drown my sorrows over the love of my life. No thanks to you two.

R: Ok Siri, get over the Nerf gun.

S: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

J: Give us the butterbeer mate.

S: * singing terribly* We like to drink with Siri cos Siri is our mate!

R: Soon he won't be.

S: When we drink with Siri, he get's it down in eight!

R: James, STOP HIM!

J: Ok mate, stop jumping up and down and get away from the purple crayon!

R: Oh no… Madam Pomfrey really needs to invent an antidote for sugar. It can be in Sirius' highest honour.

S: Ooh! Ooh! What' in my honour? Have I been made Minister of magic? Have I?

J: Well done Remus.

S: I mean I knew this day was coming but I expected it to come sooner. I'd almost given up hope.

R: You're completely mental! 

J: Remus! Don't rain on his parade!

S: Hey Jimmy jam James, can I have a pony? A glittery, sparkly, rainbow pony!

R: No.

S: Remmy, shut it! I was talking to James. I'm sorry about that Jamey, where were we? Oh yes. GIVE ME A PONY.

J: Siri, I love ya mate, but I'm not I repeat NOT buying you a pony sparkly or otherwise.

S: Huh. You two are mean. My pony was going to called Princess Angel Sexy Banana and she was going to be the next Minister of magic.

J: Um…

R: Um… 

S: What are you two porks uming about?

R: The fact you made up the most bizarre verb in existence.

S: Remmy?

R: Siri?

S: Just say weirdest not the most bizarre. You need to read less books.

R: Just go away.

S: Wrong again my little smarticle particle!

R: Smarticle particle?

S: Yeah, that's your name!

R: Anyway what did I do wrong?

S: In future just say bog off or even better Fuck off!

J: Remus, that is your English lesson for today. You are dismissed.

R: Right. 

S: *singing again* G, gummy bears are chasing me!

R: What did you put in his pumpkin juice this time?!

J: Nothing I swear!

S: One is red, one is blue, one is pissing on my shoe!

J: Remus, stop banging your head on the desk. I'm sure it's not healthy.

S: Now the red one's got a knife and I'm running for my life.

J:…

R:…

S: So… do you like my song?

J: Just smile and flatter him. Yes it was terrific! Oh bravo!

R: Ok you're overdoing it now.

S: MOUSEEZ BEANS! 

J: What the actual living jellybeans fuck does mouseez mean?

R: Mouseez? Jelly beans? You vocabulary range completely boggles my astonished mind. What have you two been taking this time?

J: Remmy, I know this is hard for you but shut it.

R: Ugh.

J: So Siri. What does mousesez mean?

R: Never thought I'd see the day when James would be asking Sirius the meaning of a word.

J: What does mousesezz mean?

S: you spelt it wrong! You must take the shame.

R: Wow. Never thought the I'd see the day Sirius Black would worry about spelling either. I'm astonished.

S: Remus, we'd appreciate your sarcasm some other time. Not while we're having an argument that will… ahem: CHANGE THE COURSE OF HISTORY FOEVER!

J: Go take notes like a good little boy.

R: You only want me to take notes so you can copy me.

J: Correctamundo!

R: I'm not even going to bother to comment.

S: Why aren't you taking notes anyway?

R: sigh, this is muggle studies. As you very well know I'm a half blood. I already know about muggles.

S: Oh. Why'd you take the stupid subject then?

R: Because you two blackmailed me into it, so I could take notes for you.

J: What blackmail was it that time?

S: Was it: we'll tell everyone you're gay?

J: No, surprisingly, we haven't used it.

S: Oh, why not?

J: Because it's pathetic.

S: No it's not!

J: Yes it is

S: Not.

J: Is

S: Not

J: Is

S: Not

J: Is

S: Not

J: Is

S: Not

J: Is

S: FINE! What was it then?

R: Sigh, it was the one where you said you'd hunt me down, overload me with sugar and set me on the first years. Plus you would eat all my chocolate stash. Like you don't anyway.

J: When did we come up with that one?

R: Second year

S: So do you want us to carry it out then?

R: Eh?

J: You're not taking notes!

R: Oh fine. 

S: Anyway what in mouseez were we talking about?

J: That's exactly it Sirius, well done! What the bloody hell is mouseez?

S: What is mouseez?

J: That's what I'm asking.

S: What do you mean, what is mouseez?

J: What does it mean?

S: Mouseez means mouseez!

J: What?

S: Mouseez means mouseez! I literally can't make it any clearer.

J: So, does mouseez have a proper meaning? As in: Does it have a MEANING?

S: Yes, mouseez does have a proper meaning.

J: What is it then?

S: Mouseez means mouseez!

J: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That is it! I am sick of this conversation and you are driving me insane! I wish Remus was having this conversation with instead! He'd talk some sense into you.

S: Remus ain't bothered.

J: What?

S: Remmy ain't bothered.

J: And has Remmy actually said anything about being bothered?

S: Fine, let's ask him. OI, REMMY!

R: Ugh. You can use words you know. You don't have to throw your textbook at my head. It hurt.

S: Sooo… you want me to throw you book at your head? Okay! But I warn you it will hurt more. You bought the upgraded version.

R: Oww! Sirius stop it!

J: Remus are you bothered?

R: What?

J: Are you bothered about mouseez?

R: No, because it's you two and you're both idiots and I've long since given up on any normality around here.

S: See! He ain't bothered!

J: For fuck's sake!

S: Hey, guess what?

R: Yawn, what?

S: I had a dream about these little, tiny, friendly monsters. They were so cute, all fluffy and orange. Anyway I made friends with them and they were ultra friendly. We met in the charms classroom and we declared war on the teachers and the Slytheriens. And we WON! And… I don't know what happens next because someone woke me up by throwing ice cold water over my wonderful hair I brush every morning and nigh… so did you like my dream?

P: I liked your dream Sirius.

S: Fuck off Peter. I was asking James and Remmy.

P: um… you won't be able to ask them.

S: and why not?

P: Because they left.

S: Why, those little pieces of shit! When I get my hands on them!

P: Sirius?

S: Hmm?

P: They weren't being personal. They left cos it's lunch and you didn't and you didn't hear the bell go.

S: It's lunch?

P: um… yeah.

S: oooh! I hope there's pudding! YAY! The mouseez IS VERY HAPPY!

Wow. That's the longest chapter yet. I hope you enjoyed it! I added two new characters Remus and Peter! If anyone has any ideas please tell me! I might be doing another Fanfiction by request of Billie.

So, please review and tell me what you think cos this took me ages! Also go and vote on my poll! I am literally begging you. Ok thanks I' guess I'll go watch Hairspray again…


	5. Lily,hair cuts and chocolate!

So guys I'm back. I've finally managed to get this chapter finished and so what better time to do it than when I should be doing homework. Oh well! Also I was pleased with the response to my poll and reviews. So far Sirius and Remus are tying for first place, with lily in second place so maybe I'll put her in the next chapter. Next it's deer James and as anticipated wormtail has no votes.

My reviews:

Bookworm .HermioneGranger (is that right?) I am glad it made you laugh and I hope you enjoy this chapter as much.

Happy: I was happy that you enjoyed it and thanks for your advice.

On with the show my friends!

Disclaimer: I hate these. It just rubs it in my face that I don't own.

History of magic.

S: Hey guys!

J: Hello!

R: Hey.

S: Guess what? Guess what?

J: What?

S: I'm thinking of getting a haircut!

R: Great.

S: you always said I should face my fears, didn't you Remmy?

J: snivellus should get some shampoo then.

S: And Drum roll please!

J: No.

S: Go on, you know you want to!

R: no. we really don't

S: Oh, you two are no fun. And…

J: And what?

S: I'm thinking of getting my hair dyed!

R: Oh, is that all? I'm just going to go back to sleep then.

J: Wait, remus is sleeping in class? Since when did that happen?

R: Since History of magic on a Thursday.

S: WOW! Remus isn't working? Whatever next!

R: Oh, come on! No one works in history of magic, you know that!

J: Actually Lily's still working.

S: I think you missed out the word trying there.

R: For once I agree with Sirius. She looks like she's going to fall asleep.

J: I know. She looks so cute when she does that.

R: oh, here we go again.

J: The way her hair falls in her eyes, oh those lovely green eyes, as they stare, with delight I sigh.

S: Yeah, yeah quit it with the poetry Mr Lovebird.

J: Hmph you're just Jealous!

S: Of what? Acting like a fucking twat everytime I see a girl? I don't think so. And stop ruffling your hair up.

J: Why?

S: It's annoying and nobody likes the "I just got out of bed" look.

J: Hey! I'll inform you that it is my "I just got off my broom and I'm ready to get the girls" look.

R: Hmmm.

S: Yeah, it kinda fails doesn't it?

J: what?

S: Oh, come on! If the girls are gonna go for anyone they're gonna go for me and my luscious locks.

R: The both of you are idiots.

J: No, but seriously…

S: Yes?

R: Sirius, stop that joke NOW. No matter how much you say it, your middle name is not and never will be, Lee.

S: Honestly Remus! Just because you don't like your middle name!

R: you don't know my middle name.

S: Oh yeah. What is your middle name then?

R: if you really want to know… it's John.

J: Hmm. Remus John Lupin. Yeah that works.

R: So what's your middle name then James?

S: Yeah, Jamey-boy. What's your middle name?

J: Fine. My name is… James Harold Potter.

R: Cool. Right, we're not asking Sirius what his middle name is, we'd never get a straight answer out of him. Anyway, we already know it's Orion.

S: Hey! How do you know that?

R: You tell us at least three times a week. Either that or your mother does with all her howlers.

S: You cheated!

J: On what?

S: The middle name game.

R: that's not a thing.

S: Is now.

J: How childish.

S: So really, what colour do you think I should dye my hair?

R: Why are you asking us?

S: Cos you two are my associates.

J: So we're associates now?

S: I'm sorry James.

J: I should think so.

S: So, best friends?

J: Yeah, that'll do.

S: So what colour should I dye my hair?

R: Well, what colours are you considering?

S: Eh? Translation James?

J: He means what colours are you thinking of?

S: Oh, well why didn't you say so?

R: UGH.

S: Anyway, stop using big words, it scares the shit out me. Well, Let's make this a list. Ahem. SIRIUS'S LIST OF HAIR COLOURS: Bright orange, sky blue, bright purple, canary yellow, fire red, metallic silver, emerald green, pinkisslmo, metallic gold, and turquoise.

J: WOW.

R: Well, you certainly thought about it. You're dedicated, I'll give you credit for that.

S: ummm…

J: Translation?

S: Yep.

R: I don't understand how you two can talk and understand jibberish, and yet Sirius can't understand any word with more than six letters and James has to translate. You two are strange.

S: Uh…

R: Don't tell me… translation?

S: Yep.

J: Generally saying we don't speak his lingo.

S: Why doesn't he just say that?

J: That boy is strange no question. Dazed and distracted can't you tell?

S: S'pose.

R: I'm right here you know.

J: I'm bored.

R: is there any time you're not bored?

J: Yes.

R: Really? When?

J&S: LUNCH!

P: who said lunch?

R: Peter! How long have you been here?

P: The whole time. You just didn't notice.

J: So why haven't you been writing?

P: You three didn't give me the paper, and I didn't have anything to say.

S: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

J: Um… ok?

P: That's mean. I hate you sometimes.

S: *Singing again* I hate you, you hate me, Let's all tie Barney to a tree!

J: Ok never letting you have hot chocolate for breakfast again. How you got high on that, I'll never know.

S: With a pole up his bum, and an axe in his head. Sorry kids but Barneys dead!

J:…

R:…

P:…

R: Umm…that was optimistic.

J: Don't let him sing again! Distract him!

R: How?

J: I dunno!

P: Oh, by the way Sirius, dying your hair is a great idea.

S: It's better than how Snivellus does his hair!

J: Wait, what does snivellus do to his hair?

S: He bathes it in a pan of grease. He asks the house elves for the left over grease from the morning bacon.

R: Well, that puts me off meat.

S: So, what colour do you think I should use Petey?

P: Well, I had this idea…

S: Yes, yes what is it?

P: Maybe you could … them all.

J: What?

R: What?

S: You mean go rainbow?

R: Pete, this is a bad id…

S: Oh my MERLIN! That is the best idea ever!

J: Oh no.

S: I can't wait! Hey, hey Remmy!

R: Why is it always me?

S: When's the next Hogsmeade weekend? When? When? When!

R: Tomorrow.

J: Why?

S: I need to book an emergency hair appointment!

R: Didn't even know he could spell that.

S: Pixie's hair dos will make their best hair do to date!

R: But till then you have to sit still and be quiet like a good little boy.

S: No!

R: Otherwise you'll get detention and won't be able to go to Hogsmeade will you?

S: Shutting up.

J: Wow Remus! You actually did the impossible! You actually got him to put a sock in it! Now how do we foil his hair plans?

R: Actually, I think we should let him.

J: Huh?

R: I want to see Mcgonagall's reaction.

J: Oh, minnie's gonna blow her top.

S: *Singing again* So sick and tired of staying up to see the break of dawn!

R: Not again.

J: Just ignore him.

S: Everybody's taking shots til they're passed out on the lawn!

J: You what?

R: No idea.

S: Broken hearts and sterophone and empty double cups…

R: Didn't catch a word of that.

J: Me neither.

S: I guess I'm ordinary…

R: I beg to differ.

S: Cos I don't give a what!

J: I'm confused.

R: Join the club.

S: Hey James, JAMES! Hey! Do you ever smell the upsexy in transfiguration?

J: Bish whet?

S: Do you ever smell the upsexy?

J: What's that?

S: What?

J: What's that?

S: What are you trying to ask me?

J: What's upsexy?

S: Nothing much, you?

J: Bish whet?

R: I've lost track of this conversation.

S: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAHAHAHHA!

J: Wow that took up a lot of paper.

R: Sirius that is the worst joke ever.

S: But you said the chicken joke was the worst joke?

R: They can share the title.

J: Chicken joke?

R: It is bloody awful. You don't want to know.

S: Hey James?

J: What now?

S: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

R: Don't answer, don't answer, don't answer…

J: Why?

R: Damn.

S: Because chicken's haven't evolved yet!

R: Your sense of humour hasn't evolved yet!

S: Hey Remmy! Remmy! REMMY!

R: WHAT!

S: Alright, calm down. Merlin, youths these days…

R: Did you want something?

S: Yeah I did. Wanna see my yellow glow in the dark socks? They're magic! Do you like them? They're funny aren't they?

R: Umm… yeah, sure they are… Psst James where did I put my emergency services chocolate? It'd better be around here somewhere…

J: Um… I think it's inside your book.

R: Thanks.

S: *Singing* We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine. We didn't like the colour so we painted it green! Yellow submarine, yellow submarine!

J:…

R:…

P:…

S: Hey James, can I have a yellow submarine?

Pppppppppplllllllllllllleeeeeeeeaaaaaaasssseeee?

J&R: NO!

S: Hmph. You'll be sorry. YOU'LL ALL BE SORRY! Especially when I get my pet Mexican dinosaur called Taz. Then I shall plan my epic takeover of the universe, with all my little banana friends.

R:…

J:…

R: What is it with you and dinosaurs?

J: What was that?

S: Hmm? Oh that.

R: Yes that!

S: Oh that was just my theory for world peace.

J: That's your theory… for world peace?

S: Yup. Can't wait to set it in motion.

R: Oh my… I need to get my head checked at St Mungos. I think I'm hallucinating.

J: Don't worry. I'll take you to the Hospital wing after class.

R: Ok thanks. How long have we got left?

J: Twenty minutes.

S: Hey! I'm a donkey! Eeyore!

R: Ugh. I don't think I can make it.

J: Ok, Remus. I'm joining you in the queue for the hospital wing.

S: James, you know Nuns? Eh, those religious old ladies with the floppy veil-thingies? And…

J: Yes Sirius, I know what Nuns are.

S: Do you reckon they're Ninjas in disguise?

J: Sorry?

S: Do you think they're Ninjas?

J: Let's get this straight… you think Nuns are Ninjas?

S: Yup. What do you think?

J: I think you're mental.

S: Now James that's a bit mean. Can you apologise to me?

R: He was just telling the truth.

S: Remus, Remus, Remus… don't tell lies.

R: Right. Screw us. We'll get his head checked first.

S: Hmph. *Singing again* We can S-P-L how we like. If enough of us are wrong, wrong is right. Everyone, N-O-R-T-why? Cos we're a little bit naughty!

R: Right. I'm going back to sleep. Bye.

J: No, Remus don't go! I can't handle him on my own!

P: You've got me!

J: No, bog off Peter. You're no use. Only Remus can help me when he gets in this deep. Remus!

R: M'sleep.

J: Wake up. WAKE UP!

P: I don't think he's going to answer you James. He's deeply asleep.

J: No shit. Dingbat. I blame Sirius. He was the one who jumped on him, demanding a pillow fight at four thirty in the morning.

P: Not to mention he got into Remus's chocolate stash.

R: Chocolate?

J: Oh, um… Hi Remus.

R: Did someone say chocolate?

J: Read four lines up.

R: Oh my fucking MERLIN!

J: Now Remus…

R: Don't you now me James Potter! I'm gonna hunt down and kill Sirius Black!

S: Say my name?

R: You, you little…

J: Oh no! Actually this is entertaining… Go Remmy!

P: There goes Sirius's Leg…

J: OOOO, nice middle wicket shot!

P: What's a middle wicket shot?

J: Well, to put it gently…

S: AHHHHHHH! MY NUTS!

J: Well, that description works too.

P: Ohhhh! Now I get it! Middle wicket, hahahahahahahhahahahaha!

J: Ugh. Yeah! There goes his arm!

S: Not the hair! Not the hair!

J: Too late!

S: Ahhhhhh! Remus get off me!

R: Where is my chocolate?! Give it to me NOW!

S: I've already ate it. I'm really sorry! Please don't attack me again!

R: Only if you promise to buy me ten of those giant chocolate bars. And they all have to be Honeydukes best. Do you understand me?

S: Yes.

R: Sorry?

S: I mean… Sir, yes Sir!

R: That's better.

J: Peter you owe me two Galleons.

P: What? Why?

J: Remember when I told you Remus is the only one that can contain mr idiot. You said it wasn't true so we put money on it.

P: I'll get your money at lunch.

J: Awwwww! Thanks Pet-Pet! Now fuck off.

P: Ok. It's lunch in two minutes anyway.

S: Lunch?

J: Yes Sirius, Lunch.

S: Food?

R: Yes Sirius, food.

P: Three, two, one…

J&S: BELL!

*Sirius skips off singing "Revolting children" with snatches of tune leaking back to them. Sighing Remus grabs Sirius's bag and the other three depart, following Sirius down the corridor, James eying Lily*

So that's it! Don't own any of the songs. The barney rhyme I picked up from my younger sister. Ordinary is by Ricky dillion. Most of you know about Yellow Submarine by the Beatles. Revolting children is from Matilda the musical. I've decided if any of you want to request songs to be used in this fanfic. In a review state the name of the song and the artist. And I will use them. If no one requests anything I'll do the songs I know. Also if you want a fanfic about the Marauders at the hairdressers then just say the word and I will. As usual please, please, please review! And check out my poll on whose your fave marauder. It helps me with your opinuion and what you want. Lily's might be in the next chapter! And with that go review! BYEEEEEEEEEEEE!


	6. Hair dye and Peter's gay!

Hey guys! I realise I haven't updated for a while so I'm sorry if I kept you waiting. I wrote most of this when I went on holiday in Blackpool. If you ever go, I so recommend the pleasure beach. It's very good! Just so you know Lily has some participant in this one so tell me what you think! I've had a couple of reviews since the last chapter so I'm very happy! So Reviews:

The Four founders of Hogwarts: I'm really glad you're enjoying it!

Annabelle: Thanks for the suggestions! They really helped and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

I'll drown in fandoms: I'm glad it made you laugh! And yes I will get round to writing Marauders at the hairdressers.

J20billie5: Thanks for your support!

So on with the story. WARNING: contains Nonsense. If allergic do not read. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: No. Just no.

J: Sirius, why the fuck have you been wearing that stupid scarf on your head ALL weekend? You look like a complete idiot.

S: But James! Of course I'm complete! There is no part of me missing!

R: Apart from a brain.

S: Awww, Remmy you crack me up!

R: And you drive me insane.

J: Siri, mate, why are you wearing a bloody scarf!

S: To cover a big surprise!

R: Oh no.

J: What?

R: What's under his scarf?

J: His hair.

R: What did he do on Saturday in Hogsmeade?

J: He had a hair appointment.

R: You're really slow aren't you? What did he spend most of History of magic writing about?

J: OH SHIT. Getting his hair dyed. I didn't think he would actually do it.

R: We can only hope he didn't take Peter's idea.

S: Ohhhh, you figured the surprise out! You've ruined it!

R: Don't start sulking for all our sakes.

S: How did you do it?!

R: It really wasn't difficult…

J: So can we see it?

R: JAMES!

J: What? It'll be a laugh. And perhaps future blackmail material…

S: Are you ready?

J: Maybe.

R:…

S: Psst, James you're supposed to ask me if I'm ready.

J: Oh right. Are you ready?

S: YES I AM!

R: Sorry, but what are we ready for?

S: The big reveal!

R: Damn. James have you got a blindfold?

J: Uh, no. Sorry.

R: Kill me now.

J: Come on, it might not be that bad.

R: Yeah, right.

S: So are we ready?

J: Yes!

S: Are we steady?

R: No…

J: GO!

S: *Lifts scarf off head revealing hair* So what do you guys think?

R: I'm trying not to have a heart attack at the brightness.

J: You were right Remus. That is a bad combination.

R: Remind me, what colours did you stupidly put in your hair?

S: Bright orange, sky blue, bright purple, canary yellow, fire red, metallic silver, emerald green, pinkisslmo, metallic gold and turquoise.

R: Ah, that explains it. It's the turquoise that's giving me a headache.

J: The pink one reminds me of bubblegum.

S: Jamey! It's not just the pink one. It is the Pinkisslmo!

J: Whatever! Still reminds me of sickening sweet bubblegum.

S: I guess you could call it bubblegum bitch.

R: Sorry?

S: *Singing terribly* Got a figure like a pin up, got a figure like a doll. Don't care if you think I'm dumb, I don't care at all! Candybear, sweetiepie, wanna be adored. I'm the one you'd die for!

J: Umm…

S: I'll chew you up and I'll spit you out, cos that's what young love is all about!

J: Since when? I wasn't informed.

S: So pull me closer and kiss me hard. I'm gonna pop your bubblegum heart!

J: Sirius, no one but the candy man has a bubblegum heart.

S: I'm Miss Sugar pink. Liquor, liquor lips. Hit me with your sweet love steal me with a kiss.

R: I think this song is supposed to be sung by a woman…

S: I'm Miss Sugar pink liquor, liquor lips. I'm gonna be your bubblegum bitch!

R: I'm scared.

S: Queentex, latex, I'm your wonder maid. Life gave me some lemons so I made some lemonade. Soda pop, soda pop, baby here I come! Straight to number one!

J:…

R:…

S: HI!

R: How do you know that song?

S: I had this girlfriend called Annabelle. She was always singing this song. She was a good girlfriend. AND she had good taste in music.

J: Lovely life story, Sirius.

R: I think I know who you're talking about. Fourth year, Ravenclaw, right?

S: Yep. Hey, why is everyone staring at me?

R: You only just noticed? They've been staring at you for at least five minutes.

S: Why?

J: Remus, stop hitting your head on the table. I know he's thick, but I don't think the table's going to help.

S: Why are they staring at me? Do they want to kill me? Aaaaaahhhhhh!

J: Sirius, calm down. They're just staring at your …how to put it… peculiar hair colouring.

S: Oh, is that all? Ooooooo, Minnie's coming to tell me what she thinks. Hey Minnie! Hey that was mean!

J: What did she say?

S: She insulted me! She asked "Is this some kind of joke?" while gesturing to my hair. I am mortally offended. I'm going to scream.

R: Please don't.

J: Sirius, stop screaming!

R: Even more people are staring.

J: Sirius, Stop SCREAMING!

S: It's in the name of world peace.

J: BISH WHET?

R: See. She gave you detention.

S: Ahh. Why'd she do that?

R: *Raises eyebrows* Not commenting.

S: I'm bored.

J: So am I.

R: Well, I'm gonna listen to Mcgonagall. animals are really fascinating, you know. Bye.

S: I'm bored. James, entertain me!

J: No.

S: Tell me a story!

J: NO.

S: Hmph.

J: Ah.

S: *Singing incredibly awfully* I wanna be an idle teen, I wish I hadn't been so clean. I wanna stay inside all day, I want the world to go away.

J: Fuck. Not again.

S: I want blood, guts and chocolate cake. I wanna be a real fake.

J: Someone Help me!

S: Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish, I'd been an teen, teen idle.

J: I'm resorting to desperate measures. *Screws up paper and throws*

L: What do you want Potter?

J: Please help me!

L: Why would I help you?

J: Because I can't get Sirius to shut up and he's driving me insane.

L: What happened to his hair? It's even worse than yours!

J: Peter's idea. Sirius got hyper, Peter said it would be a good idea and it all snowballed.

L: Is Remus the only sane one around here?

R: Say my name?

L: Hi Remus.

R: Hey Lily. What's going on?

L: Git's singing some strange song and Moron can't shut him up.

R: Oh, nothing new then.

J: I still can't get him to shut up though!

S: Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been a teen, teen idle!

J: SHUT UP!

S: Alright calm your hippogriffs. Just having fun.

L: You Dingbat!

S: Hey, Lilyflower!

L: Don't call me that! 

S: Awww James does, why can't I?

L: No one can call me that. Especially not you Potter!

J: Sorry Lily.

L: I'm going. Bye Remus. Bye Idiots.

S: *Singing yet again* Oh, can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings. The world for once in harmony with all it's living things! Oh, can you feel the love tonight…

R: Shut it Sirius.

J: Oh my Merlin! Oh my Merlin! She talked to me! She talked to me! She didn't slap me once! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

R: Oh Merlin. He's hyperventilating! No one knows how to get out of that one!

S: James, come back to me! Come back to the land of the living!

R: Umm… James isn't a zombie, you know that, Sirius.

S: Ahh, but do I?

R: Yeah, you do.

S: But how can I be certain?

R: Because he looks completely normal…

S: Apart from being a midget.

R: Sirius! Not everyone's as tall as you! Besides James is only about five centimetres smaller than you.

S: And you're a super midget!

R: Oh thanks for that.

S: And Peter's the midgetest of all!

P: Hey, I'm not that small!

S:…

J:…

R:…

P: What?

J: You need to look in the mirror, my midget of a friend.

P: Hmph. I'm going.

S: Why? We're really sweet. You know like Bubblegum bitch.

R: Now, let's not start that again.

P: You're all mean.

S: BYE! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

J: Sirius, who's your favourite singer or band?

S: Hmm. Oh, I know. I like The Butterbeer Experience.

J: Oh, I've heard of them. What's your favourite song then?

S: I like the song… you know the one.

J: Which one?

S: That one based on the tales of beedle the bard… uh…

R: You mean "The Peverell Brothers"?

S: Yeah, that one!

J: Do you like them too, Remus?

R: They ain't bad. Which song do you like James?

J: Eh, I like the new one, um, "Death Eater Tango"!

R: I haven't heard that one yet. Is it good?

S: I suppose it's ok…

J: Are you kidding me? It's one of the greatest songs on the album!

S: Alright! I didn't say it was bad, I just said it wasn't my favourite.

J: Sorry. Hey, here's a question! Who's your fave muggle band?

S: Oh, I know! Ever heard of The Beatles?

R: Oh, I've heard of them. They're quite good.

J: Who are they? And why are they named after insects?

S: What! James have you been living under a rock, on a island, across the sea, and under?

R: You mean the island of Atlantis?

S: What the hell is that?

R: It's a lost island rumoured to be located under the sea. I think it's a greek myth. Some people believe it, but it's never been found… it's really quite fascinating.

S: Fascinating yes. James why have you never heard of the Beatles? WHY?

J: I dunno. I kinda prefer Queen.

S: Uh,uh, Nothing, NOTHING, beats the Beatles!

J: Oh, hang on, it's ringing a bell. Did they sing yellow submarine? Or was that someone else with gay hair cuts?

S: How dare you! Like you can talk with your crossbreed between a hedge and a pygmy puff A.K.A your hair.

J: Whatever. They've still got gay haircuts.

R: Hasn't Peter got the same haircut as them?

J: Yep. Peter's got a gay haircut too.

S: Who do you think Peter's gay with then?

J: Probably a Hufflepuff.

R: Yeah. I mean, I couldn't see him with a Ravenclaw. They're too clever and their standards are too high.

S: Hmmm. Definitely not a slytherin.

J: Yep. No words needed.

S: Here's a thought. What if he's got a crush on a Gryffindor?

R: UGH. You have a sick mind. That's disgusting!

S: But who out of the three of us do you think he'd go for?

R: Umm. I can't tell, I don't know his type

J: I reckon he'd go for you, Sirius.

S: No, he'd go for you!

J: You!

S: You!

J: You!

S: You!

J: You!

S: You!

J: You!

S: You!

J: You!

S: You!

J: You!

R: Moving on…

S: Kayden.

J: What?

S: Kayden.

R: Kayden?

S: It's a word.

R: No it's not.

S: It's in the dictionary.

R: No it isn't.

S: Kayden.

J: What the bloody hell does that mean?

S: It's a mix between okay and then. Okay then. Get it?

J: Yeah, that makes sense.

R: No it doesn't.

S: Do you think Peeves would make a good professor?

R: Let me think… no.

J: Sirius! That is such a dumb idea! Let's do it!

S: I know, I know! We should totally set up a club to make Peeves a professor! We'll all sign it!

R: Oh, goodie. This is going to end so badly. How's he going to get people to join? He's so deluded.

J: Easy. Bug the hell out of people. :)

R: Wait, which Hufflepuff do you think Peter would go for?

J: Er… oh, I know! Scott Macmillan.

S: Yeah, I bet they're doing it like rabbits. Yes, in that broom cupboard next to the statue of Ian of idiot. I keep hearing noises when I walk past. It really does explain a lot.

R: Once again I have to explain things to a Dingbat. One: the statue next to the broom cupboard is called Ian the ignorant. You just think he looks like an idiot and you said he was an idiot when I told you he invented salad.

S: Well, he is an idiot. That is the worst thing you can do to food. I think the lettuce is still traumatised, it's all shrivelled.

R: Lettuce just grows shrivelled, it's not traumatised! And the noises you're hearing is the Hufflepuff Quidditch captain and Amos Diggory.

J: Oh, no wonder it's noisy. Both of them are wimps. Rachel Butler cried when she broke her arm, when the bludger hit her.

S: How do you remember that? It was last year!

J: Not everyone has a shit memory like you.

S: It is true. I have a really bad memory.

J: How bad is it?

S: How bad is what?

J: Never mind.

S: Then where are they making shenanigans?

R: Ewwww. Sirius, that's disgusting!

J: Let's talk about something else.

R: Well, technically you mean write about something else.

S: Remmy?

R: Siri?

S: How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

J: Sirius, he's not going to answer you.

S: Yes he is. James you're a silly boy.

J: He's not going to answer a stupid question like that.

S: It's not stupid.

J: Whatever. Remus still isn't going to answer.

S: Yes he is or I'll set my pet Unitato on him.

R: Fine. I don't know.

S: Oh, neither do I.

R: Ugh.

S: Oh, I've got a question! What's long and hard and filled with cum?

R: SIRIUS! That is so disgusting! Never ask anybody that!

S: So do you want to know the answer?

R: NO!

S: Fine. It's a cucumber!

J: What?

S: Ha! And you all thought I meant p…

R: Pomengrate!

S: What's that?

R: A type a fruit.

S: Uh, disgusting.

R: To you.

S: *Singing* Peter and Scotty sitting in a tree, doing something they shouldn't be, it starts with S and ends with X, oh my god they're having sex! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

J: …

R: …

S: What?

R: Mental images have traumatised me for life.

J: Wow. We are so throwing this paper away at the end of the lesson.

R: Don't we do that anyway?

J: This time we're going to rip it into itty bitty pieces.

R: Okay, that's different.

S: James, Is Scotty Macmillan Scottish?

J: What? No!

S: But his name's Scotty…

R: It doesn't mean he's Scottish!

S: Well, I'm bored.

J: Well, it's almost Lunch.

S: How long is 'almost'?

J: Five minutes.

S: Do you think Peter and Scotty are visiting Pen Island together?

R: No, Sirius. Stop it.

J: What is?

R: Put Pen and Island together and read what it says.

J: Penisland. Oh, now I get it. Sirius, that's really funny!

S: Hey, who stole my other quill?

J: Uh, we don't know.

S: I reckon it was Pikachu.

R: What?

S: Pikachu stole my quill.

J: What is a Pikachu?

R: It's a muggle pokemon thing. A sort of animal. Sort of a cartoon fox. Heaven knows how he heard about it.

J: Oh.

S: *Singing enthusiastically* Hakuna matata. What a wonderful phrase. Hakuna matata. Ain't no passing craze. It means no worries, for the rest of your days! It's our problem freeeeeee, philosophy. Hakuna matata!

J: Three minutes to the bell.

S: Shall we prank the people in front of us?

J: Go on then!

S: Let's stick all their stuff to the floor! Yes. Off you go Remmy.

R: Why me?

J: You're the only one who knows the spell.

R: You said you did!

J: I lied.

S: Please Remmy!

J&S: PLEASE!

R: Fine.

S: Hehe! I can't wait!

R: Well, act calm.

J: Jumping up and down ain't helping.

S: Wait! Couuntdown. Ten!

J: Nine!

R: Eight.

S: Seven!

J: Six!

R: Five.

S: Four!

J: Three!

R: Two.

S: One!

J&S: BELL!

*All three marauders run away laughing as the Slytherins trying to pull their bags off the floor, eventually ripping them. Also Sirius is hungry*

So there you go! I hope you enjoyed it! The songs Bubblegum bitch and Teen idle belong to Marina and the diamonds which were requested by Annabelle (Thank you!). Can you feel the love tonight and Hakuna matata come from the Lion King. If you want to request a song review stating the song and the artist and then I will research the lyrics and use the song. I will definetliy use any songs requested so just your favourite song or anything. Otherwise I choose the songs! And I tend to like musicals.

If you enjoyed it please tell me if you liked it! Or if you hate it, or made you laugh. I value your opinuions!

If anyone wants one of the colours Sirius got done they are all from Glamourhair if anyone's interestested.

I mention the singer Butterbeer experience. She's very good, just type The Butterbeer experience into youtube and her songs will come up. If you haven't realised she does wizard wrock. The songs I mentioned Death eater tango and the peverell brothers are both good songs but my favourite is The Weasley way!

The beatles and the gay haircuts discussion came from A30LUCY1 and Kayden came from myy friend Zoe who probably got it from youtube.

So please, please, please tell what you think ! P.s This took Ages!

Someone has asked me to do the marauders at the Hairdressers and I'm thinking of doing a Christmas themed one. Um yeah I know that was long! Sooooooo BYE!


	7. Christmas, blue box, and Peter's not gay

Hey guys! I got bored and had nothing to do apart from listen to "Oh the thinks you can think" over and over again. So while I do that, I'll write this. I've had some brilliant reviews! Thanks to lillyflowerforever for all your reviews on all my stories. It's really helped!

I've also set up a poll on my profile if you wanna check it out. Who's your favourite marauder? So far, Remus is in the lead, Sirius a close second, Lily and James are tying and Wormtail has no votes. Not unexpected. But once you've finished this chapter, could you maybe vote for your favourite Marauder? Thanks!

So enjoy!

Disclaimer: There's a reason it's called Fanfiction.

P: Hey guys!

J: …

S: …

J: …

S: …

P: Um, what?

S: Oh, James! Our little Peter's growing up so fast!

J: I know! I can't believe it, he actually started a conversation!

S: Oh, it's bringing tears to my eyes! *Sirius was indeed crying, but from laughter*

R: Really, how old are you guys, four?

S: Five actually.

R: Then why are you here?

S: We fucking go to school here.

R: Ugh.

J: Why does it smell like cookies?

S: It's because of Peter. He's hoarding cookies, so he can use them to take over the world.

J: Oh, yes.

P: I am not!

S: Hmm, I'm not sure about that Petey!

J: Peter, we demand you give us the cookies now, or we will be forced… to use force!

S: Hehe!

R: What's wrong with you now?

S: Hehe! Forced to use force!

J: Hahahahahahahahaha!

R: Ok, I'm visiting the House elves after school. I'm forbidding them from giving you two, cake for breakfast. Again.

S: But, but Remmy we'll starve!

R: No, you'll eat a normal breakfast.

S: Aw, screw you Remmy!

R: I give up.

J: Sirius, do you remember what we talked about yesterday?

S: Eh?

J: You know, about Scott Macmillan and a friend of ours? ;)

S: Oh Yeah!

J: Shall we ask him about it?

S: Yes, yes! Petey, how's your relationship going?

P: What?

J: Yes, how is old Scottie?

P: What are you talking about?

R: Oh, Merlin…

S: You and Scottie…

J: Having fun together…

S: On Pen island!

P: Is this a joke? Because I don't get it.

J: Don't worry Peter, we're very supportive. We think it's an excellent pairing!

P: What is?

S: You and Scott!

P: What about him? He's that Hufflepuff with glasses who spends his time melting stuff, right?

J: That's the one!

S: So is he a good partner?

P: WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?

J: You and your not so secret boy friend!

P: Wait, you think I'm gay?

S: Yes.

P: And you think I'm dating Scott Macmillan?

J: Yes.

S: He's slow isn't he?

J: Yes!

P: Where did you draw this from?

R: It was a long conversation that included; the Beatles, gay haircuts, broom cupboards and the Hufflepuff quidditch captain.

P: Wait, was that in transfiguration?

R: Yes it was.

P: Can I read it?

R: No.

P: Why not?

R: Cause we threw it away.

P: Oh.

S: Wait, wait, wait. So you're telling me, you're not gay?

P: I'm not gay!

J: So, you're not dating Scottie?

P: NO!

S: He'll be so disappointed.

R: So have you lot done your homework yet?

J: What do you think, Sirius?

S: Hmm, I don't remember doing any homework EVER.

J: Just as I thought.

S: Wait, I did practice Incendio.

J: Oh, yeah, how'd it go?

S: Well, I forgot I left my chocolate bar over the fire, and I left it there and it melted in the packet.

R: So you decided to freeze it again?

J: Ah, that's why you're eating a block of solid strangely shaped chocolate?

S: Correctamundo!

J: Ah, I was confused.

S: Oh my Merlin, OH MY MERLIN! Guess what, guess what James!

J: Oh, what?

S: IT'S 17 DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS! IT'S 17 DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

J: Yay!

P: Yay!

R: That's brilliant!

S: *Singing* Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. The very next day you gave it away!

J: *Joining in* This year, to save me from tears, I gave it to someone special!

L: Don't you boys ever listen in any lesson?

R: Hey Lily!

S: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special! Oh, hey Lilykins!

L: Hey Idiot.

S: Oh, Jamesy, shall we sing Lilykins a song? I'll start! *Singing again* I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need. Come on Jamesy!

J: Fine. *Singing and also has a better voice than Sirius* I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree.

S: I just want you for my own.

J: More than you could ever know.

S: Make my wish come true!

J: All I want for Christmas, is~ you!

R: Alright enough! She's already left.

S: Ah, why?

R: She left when Sirius started singing.

J: Hahahaha!

P: Guys?

S: Oh, hi Petety! What you want?

P: I just wanted to ask what you three wanted for Christmas.

S: I want a new hair brush, a bow tie and a fez.

R: Why do you want them?

S: Well, I saw this random geeser the other day wearing them, and he looked really cool and he had awesome hair!

J: Ok?

S: Yeah, he had on this purple bow tie and this red fez and he was with this small dark haired woman arguing in front of this big blue box. But I didn't stop to look because I was late to Herbology.

P: Alright, James what do you want?

J: Um, a face painting kit. Yeah. And a Ninja hamster.

P: Ok, Remus what do you want? Please say something normal.

R: Um, a defence against the dark arts book collection and chocolate.

P: Ok. Sounds cool.

R: The bells about to go. We'd better pack up.

*As they start packing up, Sirius starts singing Christmas songs again, and they all run out the classroom through the tinsel laden corridors, dodging mistletoe until they reach the Great hall with it's glittering twelve Christmas trees.*

So there you go! Another chapter done. Bit Christmasy themed because I'm excited! I obviously don't own either Last christmas or All I want for Christmas is you. I am not Mariah Karey. If you like Christmas songs maybe you could look at my Marauders 12 days of Christmas ficlet. It would help if you could review both this and that. Come on, it's Christmas!

Also if you want Sirius to sing a song of your choice during one of these notes then just review or PM me, stating the name of the song and the artist. Trust me I will use it! Just your favourite song will do. Or as many as you want I will definitely use them!

Oh, yes the bow tie and the fez thing is about the doctor and Sirius also saw Clara. The 11th doctor is my favourite doctor! I actually want a fez and a bow tie and a face painting kit for Christmas. Also the melted/ frozen chocolate thing actually happened except with a radiator and chocolate buttons. Sorry about my babble.


End file.
